All are against me (from August 5, 2013)

Dear Family I have had a rough week. It is not easy to stay focused at times when every single person out here is telling you how little time I have left, and people wanted to speak with us. I'm not sure if I have adequately expressed my love for this time to be a missionary. I have cried every night this week in my prayers because I have a matter of days left in my life to have a name badge on my chest that bears the name of my master. It is with tender feelings that I can write this email because lately I have hated going to the library for the fact that I again am reminded how little time I have left. I understand that you are all excited for my return but I need right now is not all the flashy celebrations for a returning missionary but of encouragement. I'm trying to soak in all that is being offered me here. I'm trying to train missionaries how to be disciples for the Lord. I just feel as Helaman of old in Alma 62 "44 Helaman did take upon him again to preach unto the people the word of God; for because of so many wars and contentions it had become expedient that a aregulation should be made again in the church. 45 Therefore, Helaman and his brethren went forth, and did declare the word of God with much power unto the aconvincing of many people of their wickedness, which did cause them to repent of their sins and to be baptized unto the Lord their God. 46 And it came to pass that they did establish again the church of God, throughout all the land. Here at the end of my mission I realize that I do feel like the sons of mosiah in Alma 17.. " 11 And the Lord said unto them also: Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word; yet ye shall be apatient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good bexamples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls. 12 And it came to pass that the hearts of the sons of Mosiah, and also those who were with them, took courage to go forth unto the Lamanites to declare unto them the word of God. 13 And it came to pass when they had arrived in the borders of the land of the Lamanites, that they aseparated themselves and departed one from another, trusting in the Lord that they should meet again at the close of their bharvest; for they supposed that great was the work which they had undertaken. 14 And assuredly it was great, for they had undertaken to preach the word of God to a awild and a hardened and a ferocious people; This is a ferocious people who are glad to take sin as their form of enjoyment. I'm grateful for those that have been brought to the light. Gerber Flores is the great example of that. I'm very pleased with how I have grown and what has become important to me in life. So sum up my time here in the Midwest I would have to stand with Ammon in Alma 26 '1 My brothers and my brethren, behold I say unto you, how great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we astarted from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such great blessings? 2 And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell? 3 Behold, I answer for you; for our brethren, the Lamanites, were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold, how amany of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made binstruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work. 4 Behold, athousands of them do rejoice, and have been brought into the fold of God. 5 Behold, the afield was ripe, and blessed are ye, for ye did thrust in the bsickle, and did reap with your might, yea, all the day long did ye labor; and behold the number of your csheaves! continued.... 30 And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our ajoy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some. 31 Now behold, we can look forth and see the afruits of our labors; and are they few? I say unto you, Nay, they are bmany; yea, and we can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us. I love my Savior, he lives. The tomb is empty and he has commissioned me to preach until they plant me on a plane and say "we'll cya later" At night my prayers are full of gratitude for every single day that I have here... My prayer echoes that of Ammon in Alma 19:14 "he fell upon his knees, and began to pour out his soul in prayer and thanksgiving to God for what he had done for his brethren; and he was also overpowered with cjoy".. I'll be home before you know it. Just pray and do some missionary work yourselves would ya? I love you all and have a great opportunity to speak this sunday for 15-20 minutes on whatever I want in sacrament meeting so that'll keep me busy. Elder Gonzalez Bloomington Illinois